Now it came about in the thirtieth year, on the fifth day of the fourth month, while I was by the river Chebar among the exiles, the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.
Ezekiel 1:1 NASB
It’s hard to believe that has been almost 10 months since losing Joelle to cancer. That barrier of time just keeps widening and everything is more and more becoming what was, forcing me to move ahead in life without her beside me. No doubt that I carry her in my heart, but life is definitely not the same.
I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all of the people in my life who have been there for me, both online and in person. It makes me feel that the world is not such a big place after all. The biggest appreciation are for the members of the worship team that I have been privileged to be a part of. Knowing that music is a huge part of my life and a major part of how I love to give my praises to God, they have been totally encouraging to the point where I am almost apologetic for being so enthusiastic because I am almost afraid of being seen as a showman, which I not when it comes to worship. My excitement playing guitar and singing shows through in such a way that I have gotten totally lost in worship and everything about me is in autopilot. Truth be told, I have worked on my technique for many hours to the point where I can find my way around my guitar with my eyes closed. I’m not bragging or anything. I’m simply stating that I don’t need to think about where to find the chords on a music sheet, or where various notes are located in order to do any serious leads. However, that’s not really the point.
Sometimes, when I find that I am lost in worship, something truly amazing happens. Some can argue otherwise,and others can dismiss me as a stark raving lunatic. Even our pastor, who I respect highly because of all of his insight and knowledge would argue that there is no window from Heaven where our loved ones can look down on us, or no railing or anything like that. However, I’m the one caught in the middle of the experience and if you are like me and believe Scripture to be the Word of Truth, then I would find it hard to believe that there are times when those in Heaven can see us, just as we can see into Heaven for just a glimpse. After all, there are many undeserving people in the Bible who have seen into Heaven. So why not me?
And I believe I did, and perhaps on more than one occasion when in my moment of being lost in worship. I believe that for a brief moment in time, God gave me a peek inside Heaven. It’s not something one sees with their eyes. Rather, this glimpse into Heaven is seen with your heart. In this glimpse, I can almost hear those in Heaven singing along with me. How do I know this? Well, if you have been in a room with not that many people and all of a sudden everything sounds much bigger than everyone in the room. At that moment, it’s quite evident that those voices are outside of those physically present. And the funniest part is how everyone that is there agrees that everything sounded just bigger and can’t explain it. That has to be that glimpse into Heaven.
Here’s the hope of this whole post. It’s not too difficult for me to believe that in that moment of being lost in worship that I am getting that glimpse into Heaven. What I am hoping is that in this glimpse, Joelle is right there among everyone else singing along. I’m hoping that for that brief moment, amongst all of the voices that I singing along to whatever song that I happen to be praising God, Joelle’s voice is among them.