The Battle and the Hope

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
– Isaiah 40:31

I had a blog post that I was typing before, but somehow it got messed up. It doesn’t surprise me, because it seems all part of the battle that I am going through right now. All of my fears, anxiety and sadness regarding Joelle’s cancer has taken its toll. I find myself not wanting to play any music and I find myself going to bed at 9pm only to wake up the next morning like I didn’t have any sleep. At times, I don’t even feel like singing in the car. That’s a big thing for me. Am I depressed? Probably. Have I lost hope? NO!

I have hope in the God will come and pull me out of this. My hope is strong in this because I know that Jesus was in similar states on the night of his betrayal. Anxious, fearful and sad. Yet, he walked that road all the way up to the cross. I believe that Jesus is waiting for me on the other side of this battle, ready to help me press on. I know that he will help me up and run this race again.

I may be down, but I know that God is near and listening to my cries. I would have to be foolish to believe otherwise. He’s taken care of my needs up to this point and He has never failed to deliver. He will deliver me from this battle victorious. I will look at the scars that this battle has given me and I will smile because those scars make me stronger in the Lord. Just as I look at the scar on my knee and know how God has made me better than before, I will look at these scars and know that God is making me better.

And in the end, I will sing a brand new song.