For some reason, today has felt almost surreal. It’s been almost too good to be true, and makes me want to hold onto it as much as possible, not letting it go! I knew that God wanted me to go to our old church for a reason. On Monday, I thought He was answering my prayers when Dave called me up and asked me to play on the worship team today. Of course, it was far greater than that. Today was all about healing… and healing is what my spirit was craving for. I needed a healing from God so bad because I was down to a point where I didn’t even want to go to church. I felt so far out of worship that I was demotivated, depressed and full of despair. Today, I felt like I worshipped. In fact, I felt like I worshipped like I hadn’t worshipped before. I felt that I was exactly where God wanted me to be.
Everything felt so right this morning that I couldn’t help myself, but to lay it all down with the worship team this morning. It wasn’t any self-indulgent moment when I was on stage playing guitar and singing with the worship team. It was a God indulgent moment. I actually felt for that brief moment in time, I had God all to myself and I was playing for Him and it was almost as if I could feel Him tell me, “It is good!” I couldn’t help but let it all out! I needed to because my heart was crying out so badly. And, it all felt so right.
Then came the word on healing, and the pastor was talking about spiritual healing. That was something that I needed to hear so badly. Obviously God knew that because He picked the day that I would play on the worship team. There was just so much that I was going, “Yeah! YEAH!” inside. I knew I needed prayer so badly, and I was almost afraid to ask my other friend, also named Dave, to pray for me. But, I knew I had to do it because I needed it. After he was praying with some other people, I went up to him and asked him if he had “one more prayer for me?” I told him a bit of what was happening inside of me and we prayed as I burst into tears. I was so glad he was there.
My day feels so complete, but I guess I’m sometimes scared of it coming to an end. After all, tomorrow it won’t be our wedding anniversary and next week, Margot and Cassidy fly back west and, of course, the stresses of life will be once again upon us trying to drown out today’s important message. Not to mention that “the enemy” always seems to have a way of turning my butt into a dartboard. I know that I must keep my eyes on Mark 2 this week because that’s where got our lesson about healing. I guess, if anything, I want to hold onto that feeling… the one where God says, “It is good!”