God must have been listening to me talk to Joelle last night about spending Christmas in Calgary with my kids that are out there. If He didn’t, then we really couldn’t not explain the fantastic seat price we got on the plane ticket, considering that there was no announced seat sale and the fact that Westjet usually never has a Christmas seat sale.
God probably heard the rest of our conversation as well, which was to eventually move out to Alberta, to be near our kids that are out there. I’ll admit that my heart aches to go out there and probably spend the rest of my life out there. If anything, it’s starting to feel as if there’s nothing left in Ontario for me anymore. Heck, look at how I see it: the three that are out there with their families are begging to always have us out to spend the holidays with and the one that is here with his family never spends any holidays with us. For the past two years, nothing: no Easter, Passover, Christmas, Thanksgiving… nothing. They go to his wife’s parents for the holidays. It sort of makes me feel insignificant to them. This is why I am glad to fly out this year. I have always wanted my family together for the holidays and it seems sad that I cannot have this. Heck, even my one son out there who feels I am the worst father to walk this planet wants me out there to celebrate the holidays with. That says more to me than anything else. I’d fly out for him because I know he wants me there… nothing more. Heck, the grandkids out there are so excited and Grandma and Grandpa are coming for Christmas. They can’t wait to see us… and I really can’t wait to see them! At least I now know why grandparents love to spoil their grandkids.
I don’t think that what I am feeling is wrong. Sure, as parents, we are no longer needed as much as our kids get older and grow with their own families. But, it is not wrong to want to be wanted by our kids. I think that’s what any parent wants these days as they get older and see their kids go off on their own lives. And, sometimes, the easiest indicator of showing a parent that you want them is by spending a holiday or two with them. Yes, Joelle and I are busy people and we’ve always been… but we’ve always made time on the holidays because we know it’s about family.
At the very least, I’m grateful I have one child eating with us this Thanksgiving…