Taking Care of an Old Friend…

Once again, as I clean and polish my Ibanez Artist 2630 guitar that I have had the pleasure of playing for the last 30 years, I have once again come to think of it as an old friend. That guitar has been with me through all my ups and downs with life. It’s a very soulful friend, indeed. It’s almost like a part of me when I play. When I’m happy, it sounds happy. When I’m in pain, it sounds in pain. It plays how I feel. It’s practically the only electric I have that can do this.

I still view it the same way I believe God views me: not perfect, but in caring sounds can do amazing things. I see that it gets a fresh coat of polish and a good wipe, along with a change of strings every once in while, just as God sees my needs and makes sure that I am fed, clothed and sheltered. I hold it close and watch over it, just as God holds me close and watches over me. I restored it when it suffered damage due to a water heater explosion, just as God restored me after suffering an almost total meltdown.

Sure you may think, “it’s just a guitar”. Then again, I’m just a human. Just as you won’t find another me, you won’t find another guitar like this one (even if you do find a 2630 somewhere).

Getting back at the telemarketers!

The following is a conversation between a telemarketer and me that took place today. It started off with the following recorded message:

“This is the 2nd notice that the warranty on your vehicle is about to expire. If you do not act now, you will no longer be eligible for extended coverage of your vehicle. If you would like to speak to a representative, please press ‘1’”

Of course you can tell that I was not going to turn down this opportunity to speak to our Professional Expert Sale Telemarketer (aka PEST). So here we go:

PEST: Thank you for calling our vehicle warranty department. Now if you would be kind enough to answer a few questions…

jord: Sure, after you can answer me one question.

PEST: And what is that?

jord: What kind of car do I drive?

PEST: For privacy reasons, we can’t reveal that information.

jord: You have my phone number, which obviously doesn’t seem to be private. From there, you can find my address and there you can simply drive to my house and see my car sitting on my driveway. From there, you can get my vehicle records from the Ministry of Transport. All of this is public information. So, if you can’t tell me what kind of car I drive, then how can you tell my warranty is expiring?

PEST: Our company is going to put your number on our do not call list. Have a great day…

*click*

I only wished two things:
1) I could have recorded the call at the time
2) Joshua was here to listen to it… he would have loved it.

By the way, the telemarketer’s number showed up on my phone as (909) 650-9173 so feel free to bother them just as they bothered you about your “warranty”. Next time, it will be an MP3 of our conversation. So much for being a “Do Not Call” list in the first place. It only seems like it’s a directly for telemarketers. It’s like answering SPAM.