I don’t know if it’s everything that has happened today, but I am really starting to wonder if I really made the right move by leaving Trapeze. Yes, I know that the hours and the pay are better and I get home at a saner hour and even wake up a little later, but I feel something missing that I got from Trapeze. It’s hard to ignore this. Not to mention that I think that my timesheet got pissed around with, which means that my money will get pissed around with. It’s not so much that I have bills and stuff to take care of. It’s more of a case that I feel like I am trying to do the responsible thing and I am getting messed around with. I never got messed around with in a manner like this at Trapeze.
I felt useful there. Hell, I even felt a degree of respect there. I’m feeling almost lost here, and I don’t know if I’m being being played around with. I’ve been itching for a chance to get my hands dirty and it hasn’t happened. If anything, I was in from the get-go with Trapeze. Heck, part of the stuff I was privileged to be a part of won an award, for the first time. I never got to be a part of something like that in the past.
Is it too early? Or, am I feeling something legit. Thing is, I have to remain committed to this decision and give it some time. Even more so, I’m not going to go crawling back to Trapeze. I do have some pride to consider, especially since in the end that despite the respect I got from them, I didn’t feel valuable enough to fight for.
So, where do I go from here?